The Invisible Handshake

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I asked a senior executive at a government agency what their biggest turnoff is when they meet a customer.

“Dirty and unpolished shoes.”

“Really? That’s the biggest turnoff?” I replied.

“Yes. If they cannot keep something as simple as their shoes shined when they come to meet with me, how can I take them seriously, and how do I know that they will take my business seriously if they can’t put themselves together properly?”

Her response was swift and direct. She didn’t budge on her response. She had her preferences, and that was what mattered to her.

It had nothing to do with the company, its offerings, or the specific needs she had from them. It was all about first-impressions. The minute they walked into the room.

The wrong first impression can pack a serious punch.

This can easily change the direction of a meeting at the drop of a hat. And there isn’t anything the company could do about it.

Either you see it, or you don’t.

Was this newsletter forwarded to you?

First impressions are completely in the control of the company. This is not just understanding the needs of the customer for what project you might be working on (or working towards), but it is also understanding the customer to continue to build your trust with them.

First impressions stay with us. How are what you do with them is up to you and your team. The mental snapshot of someone and you guess their competence, confidence, and likability, and that opinion often doesn’t change.

It can be triggered by unpolished shoes, a weak handshake, not making eye contact, poor table manners, the list goes on.

So what can you do about it? We are going to break that down below.

Let’s dance.

The Silent Assessment Nobody Talks About

First impressions can be an assumption that some people think they have all figured out, yet that is not always the case.

You might have it down, but does your team, those who meet with customers? How do they handle it when you’re not in the room?

Some companies teach soft skills once at orientation or yearly-training, and the focus then moves to more technical-related skills and content. Leaving soft-skills out all high-and-dry.

Soft skills training is not a one-time thing; skills need to be reinforced to prevent old habits from returning. They are an incredibly important aspect that needs constant work, muscle memory, focus, and improvement.

Don’t let something that is entirely up to you hinder your ability to make a strong first impression. And can impact business ever so silently, too.

Every time you enter a room, a boardroom, a client dinner, a conference introduction, a first meeting with a potential partner, a silent assessment is already underway. The people across from you are processing hundreds of micro-signals before you’ve uttered a single word.

Your posture. Your energy. Your presence. The pace of your walk. Whether your clothes are sharp or careless. Whether your eyes are present or distant. Whether you carry yourself like someone who is ready, or someone who just showed up.

You can check some of my other past issues out here:

Culture Matters More Than Strategy. Build the Team That Wins Together 

Structure Is Your Superpower 

When Chaos Hits, Accountability Wins 

First Impressions Are Pre-Verbal

Your first impression has nothing to do with what you say. It is entirely constructed from what you project before language enters the conversation. Posture, readiness, and presence signal credibility long before your words can.

This is why small cues carry disproportionate weight.

A slouched posture signals disengagement. Avoiding eye contact signals insecurity. A wrinkled jacket signals carelessness. Checking your phone before a meeting starts signals that something else matters more than the person in front of you.

None of these messages are intentional, yet they are received.

The Risk Nobody Is Pricing In

Every weak first impression carries a cost. And in many cases, that cost is invisible, which makes it the most dangerous kind.

You don’t always know when a deal died in the first 90 seconds of a meeting. You don’t always know when a referral partner quietly decided never to send you another introduction. You don’t always know when a room full of potential investors formed a collective opinion about your leadership before you reached your second slide.

You just know that the pipeline is quieter than it should be. The close rate isn’t where you want it. That somehow, despite your credentials, company presence in the market, and your track record, certain rooms never seem to open up for you the way they should.

This is the silent tax of a weak first impression. And it compounds over time.

Referrals

The referral economy, the ecosystem of warm introductions, trusted connections, and relationship-driven business development that drives the majority of high-value deals, runs entirely on reflected credibility. 

When someone introduces you to someone, they are not just opening a door. They are staking their own reputation on how you show up. A careless entrance, a distracted handshake, an underprepared presence; these don’t just cost you the relationship, they cost the person who trusted you enough to make the introduction.

One weak first impression can fracture years of earned trust. That is a risk many are not pricing into their daily preparation.

When you lost a deal, have you ever asked yourself if it was because we never got off on the right foot with the customer?

If you want to keep referrals, act swiftly, professionally, and show appreciation to the referral, as that will go a long way. This is where you need to outperform to stay on top of the individual who referred you, so you are always top of mind.

I’ve seen companies sit on introductions, on LinkedIn messages, voicemails, and see it drive potential business away. Even if the opportunity or project isn’t a perfect fit for your business or team, a 30-second call or email goes a long way, letting them know that you aren’t a good fit. Even recommending someone else if they are open to it. You never know, even if this opportunity isn’t a good fit, they might keep you in mind for the next one.

Prep for Impact

Before your next customer meeting, introduction, or partnership conversation, ask yourself three questions. Not as a formality, but with the rigor you would apply to any strategic decision that carries real risk.

1. Is my presence reinforcing the message I want to send about my professionalism?

2. Is my energy genuinely present, or am I carrying the residue of the last three hours into this room?

3. Have I given myself enough time and space before this meeting to show up as my best version, not a distracted, rushed approximation of it?

Here’s a bonus one: Does how I’m showing up match the gravity of the opportunity?

If the answer to any of those questions is uncertain, you are not ready. And the room will know before you do.

What the Internet Taught Me This Week

From new tools, recent trends, and market updates, here is what has been on my mind.

1. Anthropic says Chinese AI labs used 24,000 fake accounts to copy Claude. Check it out here

2. Say Goodbye to the Undersea Cable That Made the Global Internet Possible. Check it out here

3. Data centres seek credit ratings to unlock billions in funding for AI push. Check it out here

Nobody is coming to fix you or your team’s first impression after you’ve already made it.

There is no follow-up email powerful enough. No LinkedIn message thoughtful enough. No second meeting gracious enough to fully erase what the room decided about you in the first ten seconds.

This is the part of business development that lives in the blind spot of almost so many CEOs, VPs, and Business Development Managers that I have ever encountered.

You can optimize your funnel, sharpen your pitch, and build the most sophisticated go-to-market strategy in your industry, and quietly bleed opportunity every single week because of how you show up before the conversation even starts.

Start preparing who you are going to be when you walk through that door. Get sharp. Get present. Get deliberate about every signal your body, your energy, and your appearance are broadcasting before your mouth opens.

That’s all for this week. See you next week.

Whenever You’re Ready, Here are 4 Ways I Can Help You:

1. Unlocking Hidden Potential – Reconnecting with Past Clients for Explosive Growth – Check out my free eBook on how you can find hidden gems in your past clients and help you crush your sales goals.

2. AI for Business Development – Download our free eBook on how you can effectively leverage AI prompts to your advantage. From properly setting up your preferred AI tool, to how to shape your prompts, save time, and get the outputs you are looking for.

3. Sales Resources at Your Fingertips – From tools, tips, demos, and how-tos, check out our Pages and content that can provide you with additional support, whether it be social selling, account management, or something else.

4. Cribworks Advisor Program – Want more than just resources? Reach out to me and see if our Advisor Program can help you scale your business.